Are you thinking of getting a Samoyed? Save yourself the trouble of this awful breed of dog, and remind yourself of all the reasons why you should NEVER buy a Samoyed!

1. Samoyeds are too fluffy

Samoyeds are known for being seriously fluffy, but sometimes it's important to know that more isn't always more! All of that soft, fluffy fur is just too much!

Here are some other super fluffy Samoyeds, if you can handle looking at their hideous fur.

You'll be much happier with a low-maintenance Sphynx cat instead. Trust me.

Sphynx cat

2. They won't stop smiling

What's with that obnoxious attitude they always have? You could insult them to their face and they'll just look back at you smugly like they're trying to be your friend. Disgusting!

3. Always want to be around you

Stage 5 clinger alert! The Samoyed will always want to be where you are, it's so annoying! I already have a shadow, so I don't need another one.

4. They don't know when to grow up

There's a time when a puppy needs to think to himself "hey I should start acting like a grown up now" but these guys just want to be big babies forever. So annoying.

5. They've got a bad attitude

Samoyeds have a really terrible attitude and they're not afraid to let you know about it. Learn some manners!

 

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6. They never shut up

You'll never ever have any peace and quiet with these dogs. Samoyeds always want to show you their singing skills and it's so annoying! Just look at how annoying these guys are!

 

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7. They're ugly

8. They're attention seekers

Oh you think you're clever doing clever tricks, talking, looking funny in a funny costume...

Can you just let people enjoy their lives without making it all about you?

 

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9. They don't get along with other animals

Oh you other animals? Well Samoyeds are vicious, jealous, abusive dogs who like nothing more than to see your other pets gone so they can remain rulers of the house!

Check out these other examples of Samoyed with other animals.

10. They're bad with children

Never mind animals, what about your own human children! Samoyeds hate children and will be waiting for any moment when you're not looking so that they can attack them.

Take a look at some other examples of Samoyeds with children.

 

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Conclusion

Clearly this is satire, Samoyeds are awesome lovably fluffies!

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